How should we feel in the Midst of Quarantine?

Wild times we’re living in huh? In the last 2 months, the Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic has swept the world and upended daily life as we know it. As of today, 185 countries have reported cases (fyi there are 195), over 1.6 million people have contracted the virus, and over 98 thousand deaths have been reported, and those numbers are growing by the hour.* But how are we as Christians supposed to feel about this, how should we process these drastic changes, and what can we do to make the most of the situation we find ourselves in? I have some thoughts on that and would like to share them with you here. This list is not exhaustive and is simply provided in hope to get you thinking and talking about this in a meaningful way. 

1. Grieve over what the virus is doing. No matter what our culture tries to tell you, death is the most unnatural thing in the world. We were not created to die, and the only reason we do so is because of sin. Jesus cried over the death of Lazarus because of the evil that it is, even when He knew exactly what He was about to do just moments later in bringing Lazarus back to life. Now remember, as Christians, we are not to grieve as those “who have no hope” but that is not the same as don’t grieve.
2. Mourn the life you once had. Are you an avid sports fan who was looking forward to March Madness, the playoffs in both Hockey and Basketball, and the start of Baseball (or any spring sport for that matter)? Are you a music fan who’s had several shows canceled? Are you a senior in high school or college who no longer gets to have a typical graduation ceremony? Did you have a trip cut short/canceled or an important life event postponed? Have you lost your job due to no fault of your own, had your hours cut, or are being asked to work from home for the first time ever? Are you someone whose main way of catching up with friends/family was to grab coffee/dinner/drinks? Are you no longer able to gather in person for corporate worship with your church body? Are you considered an essential worker and being asked to face the virus head on or indirectly? Whatever your situation, your life has most likely been affected in some way, and I think it’s perfectly okay to mourn those things, healthy even.
3. Put this into perspective. I think there are 2 main reasons why we are seeing such drastic measures being put in place to try and fight this disease. The first is the fear of the unknown in that modern medicine has yet to provide an effective vaccine and won’t for some time, and the second being the global nature of the spread. If this virus were only being found in third world countries or were something that could be fought with a medicine or vaccine we already have, we probably wouldn’t of even heard about it, at least not the extent of it being the only thing covered on the news for the last month and a half. If the United States and European healthcare systems and governments are being strained this much, think about the poorest countries of the world where thousands of people a day are dying of already preventable diseases, or the closest hospital is hundreds of miles away. Be grateful you live in a country that can afford to have this kind of response and pray for those who don’t. (Perhaps also give if you are able, I would recommend a great way called DonorSee. Found here)
4. Use the newfound time. Whether you’re working from home and no longer have a commute, doing your schooling online, been laid off with no such thing as a job market right now, or are simply unable to take part in the normal activities you would on your days/evenings off, you have been gifted with more time than ever and the question is how are you going to use it? It would be so easy to fill the time with Netflix or whatever, and it’s not wrong to do that for some of the time, but this is the perfect opportunity to form those good habits you’ve been putting off for so long or at one time had and lost. Here are things I’ve been working on to give you some ideas: Daily Scripture Reading and Prayer, Daily Exercise, Daily Journaling, Reading, Drinking 100 ounces of water a day. Whatever you’ve wanted to take on and form a habit doing, now is the time to do so. The hope is then when life returns to “normal” these habits will be such a part of your life you then can’t live without them!
5. Make use of Technology. Look, just because we’re unable to physically see our friends and family right now, it doesn’t mean we can’t connect with them in a meaningful way. You can still call/video chat/text with people. You can still post on social media. I am sure your church is doing some sort of livestream service, zoom bible studies, etc. And realize that yes, while this is not the same and leaves much to be desired, allow it to fill your heart with hope and anticipation of the next time you do get to connect physically.
6. Love your neighbor. Think of the elderly in your neighborhood who are probably very lonely, the parents who now have their children home 24/7 (and particularly those of children with special needs who no longer have access to some of their much needed services), the extremely extroverted friend who’s probably never spent so much time at home, and many others, are there ways you could serve them? Perhaps by giving them a call just to check in or offering to get their groceries and leave them on the doorstep, maybe you could mow their lawn for them. There are still ways to love and serve those around us, so think and pray on that and just do something.
7. Do something every day that brings you joy. We need a reason to smile more than ever in this time, and so whatever it is, listening to your favorite album, reading a book, taking a walk, calling a friend, playing a game, watching a show, etc, do at least one thing every day that you know is going to help your heart and mind relax and smile. 
8. Take Heart. No matter what this virus ends up doing, how many lives it ends up taking, how much the economy falls apart, we as Christians can hold on to the hope that Christ is the one in control of it all, and this virus is a reminder of that. Like the Tower of Siloam in the book of Luke or any other natural disaster, this virus is at minimum serving as yet another call to repentance and we should take heed. We can also take heart that one day, all things will be made new and all the effects of sin will be wiped away because of the one who came, lived, died and resurrected. Easter is coming friends, and because of that we can find hope and joy in the midst of this longstanding trial.

Thanks for reading and I hope you found something in here to be helpful as you look to process and make the most of this unprecedented situation. Would love to hear your thoughts if you have any! 

*All relevant information was found from the John Hopkins interactive Coronavirus map online. 

Gone Too Long

It recently occurred to me this past week that it has been 2 and a half years since I wrote a blog, and even that last one was merely a re-sharing of a devotional I gave one night at Jill’s House. Prior to that, was April 2016, and so for all intents and purposes, it’s been over 3 years and that is not okay. Thus, I set out to once again put my thoughts and feelings on paper, because even though I do not do it as often as I’d like, the process of writing is very therapeutic for me.

If you haven’t heard yet, I am turning 29 in a couple of weeks and there are so many scary and exciting thoughts that come with that reality. Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, my 20’s are coming to an end, and I’m almost 30. It’s crazy to think that 9 years ago I hopped on a plane moved across the country and started my first semester at Master’s, 6 years ago, I graduated, and that I am coming up on my 6th Anniversary at working at Jill’s House.


Here are 2 reflections on my 20’s so far and 4 hopes I have for the next year and 30’s:

1. My 20’s were so much harder than I ever expected. My fight with depression and pornography defined so much of that time (and still does). Add student debt, a lack of romantic relationships, the self placed shame of living at home, and the failing health of my father to the fray, which all of these things intertwined with each other, and it’s been a long road. Some of the darkest times I have ever faced came in my 20’s, never to the point of wanting to die, but a crisis of faith and apathy of facing the days before me reared their ugly heads for sure.

2. Yet by God’s grace, there have been wonderful things about my 20’s as well. My college experience, though expensive, was incredible. Being a part of what God is doing in and through Jill’s House and the disability community over the last 6 years has been such a blessing. The friends I have made through school or work have been some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am also thankful to have a good amount of lifelong friends from both childhood and high school still be a part of my life as well. Because of my dad’s health issues, having the ability to save a good amount of money, and the relationships I have been able to form with my family, it has been helpful to live at home as well. And finally, my church family has been there for me through the thick and thin of all of it.


Life is often like that, we live in the tension of being a part of a fallen world, but at the exact same time, we get to experience the good gifts of our Father as well, all while trusting that He is making all things new, and will one day destroy sin, wipe away every tear, and bring us into His presence.


4 things I am hoping for in the next year and my 30’s:

1. I want to eradicate pornography from my life. It is first and foremost a sin against God. But not only that, it is inextricably linked with depression and sex trafficking, affects how I view women and myself, and it’s stolen a good portion of my joy. I am genuinely excited and believe that Christ and the Holy Spirit can do this work in me, and I want to know who I can be without it being a part of my life.

2. I want to move out by 30. Not because of the guilt and shame I’ve felt for living at home in the past, but because it is more and more becoming apparent that it is time and the right thing to do. By God’s grace I’ll be able to eliminate one of my 3 loans by the end of this year and begin the serious act of saving to make that happen.

3. I would like to get married and start a family one day, but am ok with the fact that it might not happen. The first steps are becoming the kind of man that is marriageable, and trusting that the Lord’s timing is perfect.

4. And finally, I want to continue growing in the image of Christ and learn to more fully trust that no matter what comes my way, He is going to use it for my good and for His glory. (Ok this last one is cheating a little bit because we know this to be something that He HAS promised to do!)



As always thanks for reading, have yourself a virtual cookie and wonderful rest of the day!

Will you cover your heart when you see what I've done?

Well hey guys, thanks for giving up your Sunday night to be here, some of you after an 11 hour day here nonetheless. And thank you Kindra for thinking of me when they gave you the assignment to find someone to give the devotional this evening, it truly is an honor to be able to be up here in front of so many incredible people and get the chance to share some of my heart with you. And before I get started, let me reiterate that point. Every single person in this room and every single client that we serve is an amazing human being created in the image of God, deserving of love and respect. Office staff, you help make Jill’s House run smoothly and are doing things behind the scenes that many of us will never understand, whether that’s improving upon the program we already have, connecting with new and current families, raising the money we need so that we can keep doing what we do, or managing us, the CCS. Part Time CCS’ almost all of you have something going on outside of Jill’s House that takes up quite a bit of your time, be it a full time job, school, a family, or all the above, and yet, weekend after weekend, you show up here, ready to serve, and ready to love these kids. My fellow full time staff, school nights would not happen without you and your lack of sleep, consistently leaving here after the clients are already in bed, and then coming back the next morning before they’re awake, or working the beloved double 6am-10 and 1pm-9, or sometimes a combo of both a double AND a morning shift the next day. And fellows, my dear fellows, you willingly gave up an entire year of your life to be here. And we rewarded you by asking you to do nothing less than eat, sleep, and breathe Jill’s House, be it the 44 hours a week minimum we require of you between CCSing and the office, the social outings, bible study, recruitment trips and whatever else we give you to do. And let’s be real, if the fellowship didn’t exist as it is, we’d be sending kids home on Saturday night instead of Sunday evening. All of you are sacrificing quite a bit to be a part of the story of Jill’s House and that is worthy of recognition. Now that’s not to say there’s no reward or blessing for doing so, there certainly is, and I will get into that a little bit later, but that doesn’t deny the fact that it can be extremely difficult, and for all of those sacrifices, I thank each and every one of you.

As some of you know, I like to think of every aspect of life in terms of their overarching story, and so I specifically used the phrase “the story of Jill’s House” because I want to dwell on that for a moment. Jill’s House exists because God gave Lon Solomon who’s the current but transitioning into former Senior Pastor of Mclean Bible Church a daughter with special needs 25 years ago January 26^th. And from the difficulties the Solomon family faced while raising her and the difficulty they had finding respite, God put it into their hearts to figure out a way to serve those families who were in similar situations. And so a little over 6 years ago, after climbing through some incredible God sized hurdles, Jill’s House opened its doors, and its story began. But the really cool thing is this story is built upon a culmination of stories. Every single Family we serve has a story on how they found Jill’s House, and every single one of you and every single volunteer has a story on how God brought you here and developed you in such a way to perfectly fit into the life of this place, and on top of that there are stories of how God is using your time here to further conform you into the image of His Son.

With all of that in mind, I want to take this time to share just a piece of my story in hopes to bring some encouragement to you, because a big part of my story involves Jill’s House, and therefore you.

For starters I grew up in a Christian home, my Dad was my Children’s Pastor and my mom was highly involved at whatever church he was working for. I remember at the age of 4 being pulled into the back room of the house and being told the Gospel by my parents and at that point saying the sinner’s prayer. Who knows if I actually believed at the point but that gives you some context to my life. Other than that moment, I never really remember discussing the gospel with them outside of what I learned at church and watched them live out daily. It was around the age of 12 that a friend of mine introduced me to Pornography and Masturbation and to this day that is something I continue to battle with off and on. Because of that though, by the time I was 14 I finally came to an understanding of my own sinful state and the double life I was living and fully recognized my need for a Savior. So the summer after freshman year of high school I rededicated my life to Christ during my youth groups yearly summer trip to the beach and was baptized in the Atlantic Ocean by Dale Sutherland who at the time was the youth pastor for Mclean and currently a teaching pastor. I only mention him to briefly highlight the faithfulness of God, because get this, way back when Dale was a teenager, my Dad was his youth pastor and baptized him. That summer I not only had a revitalized faith but God brought some important people into my life then as well.

My sophomore year of high school was a really hard time, with my newly refreshed faith I was having difficulty fitting in. I was noticing the hypocrisy of the kids who would be my friend at youth group but not even recognize my existence at school. I was facing flack for stupid things like the fact my Dad was a bus driver for the school. While I was on the JV football team, I was still having difficulty connecting with anyone, let alone the fact I lived outside of the school’s zone so besides football I never had any real opportunity to do so. So I recoiled to the habits that defined me pre-Christ and it was at that time I realized something needed to change.

Enter in the friends God brought me that summer camp, I reached out to them and realized they all went to the same local Christian school. After facing many obstacles, God continually opened doors including bringing on an anonymous family friend that covered something like half of my tuition to go to this school my junior and senior year, by the way I never found out about until AFTER I graduated. Those 2 years of life were very formative. Not only was I able to build solid Christian friendships both with the teachers and fellow students that are still here to this day, but it was then I realized my interest in reading and took it upon myself to learn about my life and faith outside of school and church. And if you know anything about me, you know I haven’t stopped reading since.

It was after graduation though I experienced my first serious fight with depression. Just coming off of the high of those incredible 2 years all of my new-found friends headed off to College and because of the lack of funds due to going to Trinity I had to stay behind and go to community college. I felt like God had abandoned me and so did my friends. So I recoiled into myself, began taking any class I could online, and worked a bare minimum part time job so I never had to leave the house, and seeking out fulfillment any way I could by rekindling old sins and habits. On top of it all, during the breaks in between semesters I would visit with friends who were home and pretend that everything was A-ok.

Once again God brought me to the end of myself and once again He opened a door for me to be pulled out of it. After my 2nd year I transferred to a Christian college out in Southern California, where I developed even more Godly relationships, learned even more about my faith and continued to grow.  Because of changing majors and not taking full loads at NoVa I spent 3 years out there. And once again it was absolute bliss. The summer between my junior and senior year was where I worked a summer camp here at Mclean Bible Church simply because I needed a job and was introduced to the world of special needs. I fell in love with it, and determined to do the camp again after graduation.

But as all of you know, we are creatures of habit, and old habits die hard, even when we are living in light of the Gospel. And if some of this sounds familiar it’s because it is. After graduating college in May of 2013, and working the summer camp for a second time in July, this time in a position of leadership, I was pulled back into the deep dark world of depression for the 2^nd time in my life. Leaving those friendships behind, moving back home to the east coast, no real job prospects in line, and a sizable student loan staring me down, it was just too much for me to handle. Despite recognizing the faithfulness of God in my life up until that point it was still so hard for me to trust Him. And so the darkness came sweeping in, taking hold of my life, and telling me a lot of lies that I chose to believe causing me to run to old habits of extreme laziness and old sins instead of the light and truth that is found in Christ, which further perpetuated the problem instead of facing it. 

Come October of that year, still no job, and no real hope, my parents gave me the idea of applying to Jill’s House. They knew I loved kids with special needs, and they also knew I needed a job as my first loan payment was due the next month. And here is another point where God’s faithfulness shines brightly despite my attempt to run from it, literally within the hour of sending my application to Jill’s House they asked me to come in and interview the next day. At the time this was for a part time role on the weekends, and after walking out of the interview feeling pretty confident, someone from my church gave me a call and offered me a part time job during the week in the office at a construction company. In a matter of days I went from no work to 2 part time jobs that added up to full time.

Over the next year and a half I began taking on more hours here and less at the construction company until I became full-time in January 2015. A year later starting in January 2016, I faced my 3^rd major battle with depression. But during that year, there was a fellow that some of you know who was also facing her own demons to the point that she had to leave the fellowship early. And being able to come alongside her during that time even in the midst of my own struggles, watch her face it with such grace and continually point it all to Christ and hold onto His promises instead of running away, she became a great encouragement to me and it finally enabled me to open up about my own life. For the first time I was able to bring it up with my pastor, friends, and family. And while there have been brief spurts of difficult and debilitating times since then, being single in my mid 20’s with a crushing student loan and anxiety about the future brings about such thoughts, by the Grace of God and because of my time here at Jill’s House I no longer am afraid to face it.

All of that said you can see why Jill’s House has such a special place in my heart. Not only did God provide me with a certain personality and set of talents that allow me to excel here, but God has continually used this place and you people to pull me back outside of myself and bring me back to himself. Because of my time here, I am more and more coming to recognize that I am not my depression, and I am not my sinful habits. I am a child of God who is fully known and fully loved by Christ and He has given me a Church family both through my local church and my family here at Jill’s House that I can turn to and lean on in times of need. And when this time comes to an end, this is something that I will be forever grateful.

Thus I want to encourage you with this, never be ashamed of the story that God is telling through you and allows you to be a part of. Yes, some of you may have an incredibly dark and traumatizing past that you can at times regret, you may be going through an extremely difficult period right at this very moment of your life, or that difficult time may be yet to come, but take heart. God is faithful and is going to bring you through it. And God is going to use to it be a comfort and encouragement to others. Listen to this passage in 2^nd Corinthians chapter 1 starting at vs 3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.”

As we go through trying times, God is going to bring you comfort in, during, and through those situations, and use them to allow you to bring comfort to others who are going through their own difficult times, all for your good and his Glory. Nothing in this life is wasted. 

An Open Letter to My Weary Soul

It has been a long couple of months, and while we are just 3 months into 2016 it feels almost as if it’s 2020 or something. The sleepless and anxiety filled nights have come more frequently (in fact this blog is the product of one), the tears have been flowing freely at the slightest provocation and I couldn’t even tell you why, and the hope that once seemed certain feels lost. When a dear friend a week and a half ago asked me how life was going I framed it this way: “Sometimes being in my mid twenties, single, and living with my parents with crippling student loans feels like lent with no sign of Easter.” Just 2 days after saying that, on Good Friday nonetheless, I ran into this article, and was reminded of a promise that at the time struck the chords of my soul, Easter is coming.

Indeed, Easter did come, and everything rests on that moment. But the days are still hard, the nights are still long, and the tears keep falling. Which surprisingly, is resoundingly okay. Lesslie Newbigin once famously said, "I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. Jesus Christ is risen from the dead." We can face life with a realism that allows us to both feel the pains and adversities of life and see them for what they are, and at the same time we do not despair because we can rest in the ultimate hope that we have as Christians, that we too one day will be raised with Christ and on top of that, right now at this very moment God is using everything to make us more like His Son.

So here we go soul, let me remind you of a couple of promises that are yours, ones that are verified and proven true because of that very first Easter.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18. This is probably my favorite verse in all of scripture. First off, it is a reminder that even though we are in Christ, we are not suddenly exempt from the pains of life.  We all will at times feel the pangs of depression, be brokenhearted, become disappointed, suffer some grave injustice, or go through some other tragedy. But the fact of the matter is that The Lord is right there with you in the midst of it all and at some point, you will get through it. He has not abandoned you but instead He is close, He is moving in and through you, and He is most importantly making great use out of these troubling times, so hold on.

Next, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved” Psalm 55:22. Or as 1^st Peter 5:7 tells us, we should be “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” Christ is not indifferent to our suffering, he feels it just as deeply as you do, probably even more so, and he wants to be the sustainer of your soul. All you need to do is give it over to Him, and then, even when you are weary from it all, you can find rest.

And these are just two, I could go on all day with the promises of scripture. I could turn to Philippians 1:6 showing you that God is not done with you yet. And what about Philippians 4 where we learn we have the ability to be content in every situation and can rest in the fact that God is going to supply every need (or Matthew 6). Really, all of Scripture is a promise from God that though we turned away from him in our selfishness, He is faithful in seeking us out, reconciling us to Himself through the life, death, and resurrection of His Son, making us new through His Spirit, and bringing it all together with the new heavens and earth where He is going to wipe away every single tear, all for His glory. So drink deeply of said scripture, learn it, cultivate it into your every day life, and remember that because that first Easter happened, your Easter is coming.

Autumn and The Faithfulness of God

These past few days of low 80’s during the day and mid 70’s in the evening have caused me to realize that I am oh so ready for fall to come around. It’s my favorite time of year: the amazing weather, the colorful and crunchy leaves, the long-sleeve shirts and sweaters (particularly flannel), and of course, all those pumpkin spice lattes. 

It is this fall though, on September 17th to be exact, that I am going to be 25, and I’m not quite sure where 24 went. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my last year as a CCS at Jill’s House, and now I want to talk about my 20’s as a whole as I approach the halfway point. Which if you want to get an idea of where I am going with this, I would encourage you to read this article, one I resonated with deeply, entitled ‘When Your Twenties Are Darker Than Expected.’

My 20’s started out on a high note, when I dropped everything and moved to California to go to a small Christian college I knew nothing about other than the fact that my best friend was there. That decision came after two years of what was essentially filled with depression and solitude, studying at the local community college taking mostly online classes and working part-time at my old high school. During my three years at Master’s I made wonderful friends, learned an incredible amount about myself and my God, and failed quite often. Check out my posts from 2012 through May 2013 to get a more in-depth look. In short, Relationships (particularly those of the romantic variety) were my idol, laziness plagued me, self-pity was my real major, and yet, God still worked in and through me. Those were also the years where I discovered my love for working with kids with special needs leading to my current job at Jill’s House. 

Other than the two years of community college, the first 2 months post Graduation were probably the darkest times I have ever experienced in my entire life. Feeling like I was expected to conquer the world, I crumbled at the weight of it all and threw in the towel before it even started. The depression was real, all hope was lost, and Christ was an afterthought. You can read my painful confession in the post from June 2013 entitled ‘To anyone who might possibly care.’ But it is in those dark times, like sunlight bursting through a rain cloud, that the radiance of Christ shines most bright.

Though the last two years have been much better and I can gladly say I’m the most content I’ve ever been, the time certainly has been filled with it’s own struggles. Often I feel stuck, be it my student loans, living at home, feelings of loneliness, reoccurring relational mistakes, or fighting the exact same sinful tendencies that I’ve seen in my life since the moment Christ opened my eyes. But if I’m honest, the things that at times make me feel stuck are actually helpful:

· Fighting sin is going to be a life-long battle, but in it I’m reminded of my need for Christ and reminded of the fact that He has already conquered it through his incarnation, life, death, resurrection and ascension, and because of that, there is hope.

· Relationship mistakes remind me I am already in the perfect family, I am a child of God, and the people of His Church are my brothers and sisters. My mistakes allow others to come alongside me and practice the one-another’s, and vice versa. The friendships I’ve built and continued to build post-college have been some of the richest and most fruitful of my entire life.

· Feelings of loneliness remind me that in actuality, I am never alone. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Never was anyone more alone than when Christ took the sins of the world upon himself upon the cross. And now the one who understands and loves me completely, lives in me through the Holy Spirit.

· God knows I desire to move out of the house and to pay off my student loans, and I think these are great things to desire. It means that even though I am content with where Christ has me, I’m not complacent. But I also understand this, God will supply every need I have. And right now, He has given me a job I love that at the moment financially only allows me to work on my student loans and have a social life. With that said I am also extremely grateful for parents who love me enough to let me stay at home during these years, and yet provide me with enough space to grow and face these things on my own.


In summary, so far in my 20’s, God has provided me with a college education, God brought me through an extremely dark time in my life, God provided me with my first job, God has given me some great friendships, He has lovingly let me fail and turn to Him through grace and repentance, and He is using all of that to continually conform me to the image of His Son. I expect much of the same in the second half of my 20's and I am so excited for all that God is going to do with 25! Thanks for taking the time to read!

The Struggles and Blessings of being a CCS

 One year ago, I was a part-time Childcare Specialist at Jill's House, but for the last 6 months or so, I have been full time. There have been both blessings and struggles (which are ultimately blessings) in becoming full-time, though I think that is the case with any transition. First-off, doing the job that I do full-time is an all around exhausting affair, mentally, physically, and spiritually. There certainly have been days where my patience has worn thin, my heart and mind have grown weary, and the monotony of it all has just gotten to me. In the summer most of my hours come from the 8-4 camp days, meaning I leave my house at 6:15am and get home after 5:30pm, which the traffic just adds to the mental strain of it all (though having evenings is extremely nice). During the school year, though the traffic is lighter, the shift schedule can be wearisome, whether that being a 12 hour double or working the 1-9 just to return at 6am the next morning (or sometimes both). And while there are tremendous upsides to working for an Organization based on Christian principles that has a very godly purpose, (which I will get to into in s second), sometimes the Christianity of it all can actually create the struggles. Yes, there are weeks when you need to make sacrifices, taking on extra shifts to fill the child to staff disparity, happily coming in on a moments notice to cover for a fellow staff-member who has called out, or working a shift you probably shouldn't be because of your own health, etc. But it is when those sacrifices have become the norm and the expectation, to the point where there is a shaming of the workers who don't make them every single time it is asked of them, all under the so called banner of loving these kids, that you create the burn-out and high turnover culture we have here at JH, both on the CCS and corporate side of things. One set of biblical principles: mainly service and sacrifice, have been propelled above another: rest, humility, faithfulness, longevity. And how ironic that a place designed to give and provide rest doesn’t understand the importance of it for it’s own employees.

With all of that said, the blessings of working here far outweigh the difficulties. First of all, to even work at Jill’s House, you have to at least nominally be a Christian, and have some idea of how your faith impacts the work you do. Within that we have a devotion and time of prayer before each shift, and conversations about faith with your peers are the norm, which is a very different picture from the typical work environment. Another aspect of that is the wonderful relationships I have been able to build. I go to a church that averages maybe 75 people, and I can count on one hand the number of people there who are in their mid twenties and single. Jill’s House helps me to have fellowship with those my own age. Second, the intentions of Jill’s House are ones worth fighting for, to provide rest for parents of kids with special needs by loving there kids with the love of Christ through overnight and daytime respite care, and pointing both the kids and their families to the one in whom eternal rest can be found all for His glory. This is the biggest reason why I love Jill’s House, for what we do and why we do it, despite how tiring it can be. Third, and I've said this one many times before, I have always told be people that no matter what I do, I want to love God by loving people, and for the time being, this is very much my literal job. How cool is it that I am paid to love these kids? Fourth, not only do I have like minded coworkers and can find encouragement that way, but these kids point me to Christ all of the time. They have taught me about patience, passion, finding joy in the small things, righteous anger, compassion, and many other things.

Jill’s House is an incredibly special place, and God has definitely used it to grow me over the last year (and really since the day I started). I am grateful for what He has already done in my life through this place, and am excited about what He is going to do in the time I have left, however long that may be. As always, thanks for taking the time to read and I hope you were able to find it profitable in some way.

2014 in Music and Books

Much of life is affected by the media that we intake, especially here in America. So in light of that, as a small way of reflecting over the past year, I would like to share a list of my 20 favorite Albums of 2014, and the list of books that I read this year (outside of the Bible).

Favorite Albums of 2014

1. Bleachers – Strange Desire
Back when Taylor Swift was releasing a song a week the 3 or four weeks before 1989 dropped – of which I had a feeling that was going to be my album of the year, she released her single Out of the Woods – a song she had cowritten with Jack Antonoff the guitarist of Fun. When Out of the Woods was released, most people on the music website I frequent compared it to Bleachers, the solo side project of Jack. I immediately decided to check out said band, and I was immediately floored. Strange Desire is a larger than life pop album straight from the 80’s and I freaking adore it.

2. Taylor Swift – 1989
T Swift has finally dropped the pop/country act and went full on pop for this record and it’s the best decision she ever made. That’s all I’ll say about that.

3. Damien Rice – My Favourite Faded Fantasy
A man, his guitar, some strings drums and piano, and the pouring out of his heart and soul into his lyrics leads to one of the biggest emotional roller coasters you will ever ride on, leaving you completely drained, yet somehow inspired.

4. Colony House – When I was Younger
This is a coming of age album. It is an accepting of all that has taken place in your life, growing up and becoming an adult, facing the crappy parts of life in a hopeful way and moving forward kind of album, all in the context of my go to pop/rock sound.

5. Mike Main & The Branches – Calm Down, Everything is Fine
Pop/Rock at it’s finest singing about life and relationships.

Albums 6-20 could be pretty much interchanged in their order. Mostly rock, pop/rock, indie pop, and all types of female fronted pop.

Andrew McMahon in The Wilderness – Andrew McMahon in The Wilderness

Copeland – Ixora

Yellowcard – Lift a Sail

Ingrid Michaelson – Lights Out

Lights – Little Machines

Anberlin – Lowborn

Neon Trees – Pop Psychology

Number One Gun – This is All We Know

Blondfire – Young Heart

The Cinema – Talking in Your Sleep

Chad Perrone – Kaleidoscope

Switchfoot- Fading West

From Indian Lakes – Absent Sounds

Pompeii – Loom  

One Direction – FOUR

When it comes to the books that I have read this year, I was able to finish 28, which falls short of the 32 I read last year. Though all of these were first time reads, unlike last year where 11 were re-reads. This is in the order that I completed them, and the ones with asterisks are my favorites from the year and ones I would easily recommend to anyone (which I realize was most of them, but what can I say, I read a lot of good books this year!).

Book List 2014 

1. A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life – William Law
2. Out of My Mind – Sharon M Draper *
3. The Holiness of God – R.C. Sproul *
4. Finishing Our Course With Joy : Guidance from God for Engaging Our Aging – J.I. Packer *
5. Relationships – A Mess Worth Making – Timothy S. Lane, Paul David Tripp
6. The Freedom of Self-forgetfulness – Timothy Keller
7. The Meaning of Marriage – Timothy Keller *
8. Biggest Brother: The Life of Major Dick Winters, The Man Who Led The Band of Brothers – Larry Alexander *
9. Taking God At His Word: Why the Bible is knowable, necessary, and enough, and what that means for you and me – Kevin DeYoung *
10. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – Susan Cain *
11. Weakness Is the Way: Life with Chris Our Strength – J.I. Packer *
12. Know the Creeds and Councils – Justin S. Holcomb
13. God’s Will: Finding Guidance for Everyday Decisions – J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom *
14. Ender’s Game – Orson Scott Card *
15. Speaker of The Dead – Orson Scott Card
16. Xenocide – Orson Scott Card
17. Children of the Mind – Orson Scott Card
18. Home – Marilynne Robinson *
19. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime – Mark Haddon *
20. Knots Untied – J.C. Ryle
21. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy – Eric Metaxas *
22. A Shepherd Looks at The 23rd Psalm – Phillip Keller *
23. The Fault in Our Stars – John Green
24. Loving Well (Even If You Haven’t Been) – William P. Smith *
25. Lila – Marilynne Robinson *
26. Ordinary – Michael Horton *
27. Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God – Timothy Keller *
28. Dancing with Max – Emily Colson *