Balancing solitude and society.

"Solitude and Society, finding the balance between them is a great struggle." Dr Hotchkiss.

That comment was made in the midst his lecture this past wednesday on the marks of Romanticism, of which I sadly do not remember much of. But it was that comment that really got my brain going, and of which I would like to share some quick thoughts on.

As human beings created in the image of God, we were made for relationships, Father, Son, Holy Spirit have been in perfect relationship from eternity past and will continue to live in that perfect relationship for eternity. And so for for us humans to take part in society is a good thing, to have friendship and fellowship is of grave importance in this life. Solitude though, can be a good thing in this life as well. To break away from the cares of this day and spend time alone can be just as important.

I think there are two dangers that go along with Solitude and Society, it is not just the struggle of finding the balance between the two which Dr. Hotchkiss mentioned that we must be careful of, but we also must ask ourself what that time is spent doing. I would argue that not only is it dangerous if you are one who spends too much time to himself, or too much time with other people, it is also dangerous if in that time alone or with friends it is being wasted.

Finding the balance and figuring out when to be with people or take a step back and be alone is indeed a great struggle. I think that can many times be answered by asking yourself the questions of what am I using this time for, and why?

If your time with friends is always spent "hanging out" and never any effort of pointing them to Christ is made, be careful! Just as, if all your time spent in solitude is spent watching movies, playing computer games, checking facebook, etc, and never spent with The Lord in prayer and scripture, or reflecting over the day/week, or completing the tasks set before you for that day, then you too must take heed! "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15,16 ESV)" We are called to be intentional with our time.

A simple way I like to think about it is this, I think we should use our time in solitude in a such a way that it allows us to make the most of our time with others. For example building our relationship with The Lord helps us to more fully love and serve others, or completing our hw allows us to more fully be there when we do get to be with people instead of always having our mind on the tasks we need to complete as someone sits across from us and shares their heart, or reading a book to gain another perspective on life that could be helpful to the body. With that thought process, it also allows for saying no to specific times of fellowship so that you can step back, spend some time alone getting the things done you need to, and make more of the next time you do get with that person.

These are just a few thoughts though, and I am by no means anywhere close to this in my own walk. I struggle with wasting time just as much as the next person, using it on myself and my selfish passions, and by God's grace, I hope and and pray (as well as fight!) to make more of it for His glory and honor.

An unexpected grace.

I think one of the coolest things that can ever happen to a Christian is going through a time of reconciliation with someone you have sinned against. The whole thing is just a marvelous process. From the Holy Spirit convicting us of sin, the confession of that sin to The Lord for it is He who we sinned against most importantly, the seeking of repentance from God, to the confession of that sin to the brother or sister in Christ and the seeking of forgiveness from them.

I recently was able to come to the end of that process with a sister in Christ, and she was open and willing to happily forgave me. Our friendship had a few rough patches this past fall and it did not end on the best of notes as December 14th came around and we all went home for the Holiday. But by His goodness, God really ate at my heart over Christmas break, His Spirit opened my eyes to my sin, and through prayer and the reading of His word, I was able to seek the forgiveness that Christ freely offered on the Cross. I was really able to turn the situation over to Him, cast all my anxiety about the matter in Him, and learn (still learning!) what it means to rest in His sovereignty.

Though I knew I had now to reconcile with her, I had no idea what that was going to look like or if it was even going to happen before this friend (it is such a blessing to still say that word!) went to Israel for the semester. But as I prayed more and more about it, God opened up the door to speak with her after one of the main sessions here at Truth and Life, and she was just so understanding and forgiving. It was such an unexpected blessing for this all to come about so soon!

And now I am just so. so excited to face this semester. I know God is going to grow, stretch, and challenge me in many ways, and this is just one less extremely heavy burden that has been lifted, for I know it would have been on my mind the whole time, but now it is something of the past I can grow and learn from. The timing of it all was just so perfect and it couldn't have gone any better.

Through all my anxieties and distrust, Christ placed peace and comfort on my heart, taught me how to give it over to God, and so He worked it all out in His perfect sovereignty.

Let me end this post with some encouraging verses:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6, 7 ESV)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16 ESV)

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:25-34 ESV)

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)

Some goals for 2013.

I really cannot believe that 2012 has come and passed, the years really are moving by so fast. This past year by Gods grace I was able to complete 2 crazy trying semesters, had a summer for the ages, and made many friends along the way. The Lord was extremely gracious to me as well, and revealed so much about Himself and so much about my sin, and I am extremely grateful. As I enter into 2013, I have no idea where the Lord is taking my life but I do know that He is in control and has the perfect plan, no matter what it entails. Here are some overall goals that I have for the year (I will probably do a post eventually with more specific goals for this coming semester).

Goals for 2013:

1. To fall more and more in love with my savior Jesus Christ and as J.C Ryle puts it, to grow in grace. There is nothing more important for the Christian; we should bother with nothing else in this world if we do not first set our sights on the Lord. To know the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit more and more every single day that you live, and because of that to grow in practical holiness, should be the two main goals of every single Christian. So along with that I would like to do my best to be in the Word and prayer as often as I can (ideally every day), to be and serve at my Church as much as possible, and to fellowship with my Christian brethren often.  

2. To graduate from The Master’s college, and make the most of my final semester. I can’t believe that this is it!!! It has been an extremely insane 2 and a half years at TMC and I cannot wait to see where God takes, grows, and stretches me this final semester.

3. Lord willing, by years end to find a job, ANY job. I don’t care if it’s at a fast food place while I look elsewhere, just something to start working and paying off loans.

4. To read 25 books: From summer 2012 to New Years I was able to read 23, (some were for school but still great reads nonetheless), I can’t remember what I read Christmas break past the new year and I don’t think I did much, if any reading spring semester.

5. Make some sort of consistent habit of exercising and eating just a little bit healthier.

My Favorite Albums of 2012.

1.The Classic Crime – Phoenix

This album just speaks straight to my soul. If you ever find yourself in a state of apathy and can’t seem to find the will to keep going, put this album in and let it awaken your heart. The guitars are huge, the vocals are soaring, and the lyrics are entirely and utterly relatable.

2. Ingrid Michaelson – Human Again

Heartbreaking and yet inspiring at the same time, Ingrid Michaelson takes you on a journey into the center of a world filled with break-ups and moving on, and you either come out ready to take on the world and love again (with songs like Fire, This is War, Do it Now, or Blood Brothers), or further despaired (songs such as: I’m Through and Ghost) and to that I suggest you dive right back in to this world she has so beautifully created.

3. Yellowcard – Southern Air

Ever since the genre defining Ocean Avenue in 2003, Yellowcard has always been one of my favorite bands, and Southern Air did not disappoint. The opening song: Awakening, will probably be my Anthem for my upcoming final semester of college. If you like Yellowcard, you’ll like this album, the sound is still classic Yellowcard: pop punk with the violin  (though they did slow down some), and the lyrics are more mature, so you can’t really go wrong.

4. Taylor Swift – Red

It’s no secret to my friends that I’m an unashamed Taylor Swift fan (which I’ve gotten a lot of flack for), she always had her place in my mind as popular music that I enjoy and can sing along to with friends. But I had no idea she was capable of writing an album like this, Red is truly incredible. Showing the ability to cross genres at will, there is something for everyone here, regardless of your view of her beforehand.

5. Go Radio – Close The Distance

From the opening seconds of “I won’t Lie” I knew I was listening to something special with Go Radio’s Close The Distance. The opening 3 tracks are about the strongest string of songs you will hear all year from the pop rock genre, and the rest of the album keeps going (though I personally can’t stand the single “Go to Hell.”) The lyrics are relatable and Jason Lancaster sounds as good as ever.

6-20 Alphabetical Order

Alex Goot - In Your Atmosphere

Pop at its finest. The choruses are massive and catchy, and all the songs are about relationships and thus, relatable.

Anberlin – Vital

Anberlin is back with a vengeance; this album is hard and awesome.

Freelance Whales – Diluvia

A perfect album to have playing in the background when you’re on a long night drive or reading a book.

Fun – Some Nights

All I can say is the opener Some Nights is still my jam, what a song. A solid album as well.

Hit The Lights – Invicta

Summoning their inner The Graduate, Hit The Lights grew up with this album, and I cannot wait to see where they go next.

Imagine Dragons – Night Visions

Right where they left off with the Continued Silence EP, Imagine Dragons does it again and writes an album that will surprise everyone. I’m happy they got pretty big in the mainstream world, as I don’t mind it when I walk into someone else’s room and hear this playing instead of 95% of the crap out there.

Jenny Owen Youngs – An Unwavering Band of Light

Can’t really go wrong with this girl.  

The Lumineers – The Lumineers

Pure, unadulterated talent. Such a solid album.

Memoryhouse – The Slideshow Effect

One of my favorite albums early on in the year, but sadly it didn’t have the lasting effect that I wish it did. After their ep was so beautiful, I wanted this album to be amazing, and while it is good, just doesn’t get many repeat plays from me.

Mumford & Sons – Babel

This album is so, so good, and “I Will Wait” may be the best song of 2012.

Neon Trees- Picture Show

Good album, 80’s sounding pop rock written in 2012. “Mad Love” and “Trust” are two of my favorite songs.  Great follow up to the ever catchy Habit.

The Rocket Summer – Life Will Write The Words

Bryce Avary being Bryce Avary, writing solo effort catchy pop punk but also growing up right before our eyes, can’t wait to see what’s next.

Scars on 45 – Scars on 45

Male/Female  vocal pop rock from England, and man is it good.

Strange Vacation – Chasm

Basically, The Boys of Summer have grown up, maturing in sound and lyrics.

Winterpills – All My Lovely Goners

Another favorite album early on in the year that didn’t get much repeat play, but I will be visiting this again soon, because the dual vocals are lovely.

21-30 Alphabetical Order

The Autumn Film – 8 track Tape

David Crowder – Give Us Rest

First Aid Kit – The Lion’s Roar

House of Heroes – Cold Hard Want

Lucy Rose – Like I Used To

Owl City – The Midsummer Station

Phillip Phillips – The World From The Side of The Moon

Regina Spektor – What We Saw From The Cheap Seats

Stars – The North

The XX – Coexist

Honorable Mentions (Alphabetical Order)

All American Rejects – Kids in The Street

Arrange – New Memory

Beach House - Bloom

Carlie Rae Jepsen – Kiss

Ellie Goulding – Halcyon

Fiona Apple - The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

Gotye – Making Mirrors

Japandroids – Celebration Rock

Lana Del Ray – Born to Die

Meiko – The Bright Side

Nada Surf - The Stars Are Indifferent To Astronomy

Safety Suit – These Times

Sharon Van Etten – Tramp

Sleigh Bells – Regin of Terror

Soko – I thought I was an Alien

Tennis – Young & Old

We Shot The Moon – Love and Fear

Also, Of Monsters and Men's - My head is an Animal would be my number 1, but it technically came out in 2011, only in America was it released in 2012. 

Christmas Break! (so far)

I cannot believe that we are two weeks into Christmas break! It is so crazy to think about. It has been a restful, busy and fruitful break thus far, I am thankful for all that has happened this break, and am hopeful that it can continue until I am back at school for what Lord willing should be my final semester as an undergraduate!

Here some of the highlights so far:

1. My Church family: Oh my goodness what a blessing it has been to be back and worship once again with them. Sunday mornings, young adult group on sunday night, evening prayer/Bible study on that first wednesday, and a special Christmas Eve service, have all been wonderful. After the bible study on the first wednesday, I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with one of the most influential families on my life that I know, and to be able to fellowship with them once more was so great, and very much needed. At our Christmas Eve service we had a technical mishap and the organ wasn't working, which forced us to do our lessons and carols acappella. It was definitely a blessing in disguise as it ended up being one of the most beautiful services I have ever been a part of, and you were really forced to focus your heart and mind on the words of the hymns being sung.

2. Seeing old friends: I have to admit, it was definitely weird coming back and realizing that most of my friends were not also returning home for Christmas, but have been in the midst of what some would call "real life." As you see, most of the friends that I still have from High School graduated college this past may and are either working full time, or in the midst of the job hunt. But that being said, it was really awesome to see that they all work really hard to keep in touch! On the first monday night of break and the following saturday (because of Christmas) I was able to join a group of them for a weekly dinner that they had been doing. It was really awesome just to catch up with them, and see how they were doing. Hearing them talk about work and life after college, makes me excited to graduate and get out there (though don't get me wrong, I am going to miss school DEARLY). Some of the guys also have a monthly book club that I can't wait to join once I get back out here. Other then that I have been able to grab lunch with a few people, get the inside scoop of what's happening in their life etc, oh and I went to a shooting range with some guys and shot a shotgun for the first time! And of course, I've had plenty of long drives, and deep talks with the good ole Brent, the guy who will forever be a part of my life as we have just gone through too much together for him not to be.

3. Being around family: Moving into my new room because we rented out the basement has proved to be both a challenge and blessing, mostly the latter. The challenge for me has been that because of it, I am around my parents ten times more than I have ever been, which has provided plenty of opportunities to practice (and fail at) patience, on both sides I'm sure! The blessing is very much the same thing as the challenge, I am around them ten times more than I have ever been. It has been wonderful to just be able to hang out with both of them. For example: one of the days leading up to Christmas, my mom and I baked some pies, went shopping, and had dinner together. My dad and I have been able to get some good quality time together as well, hanging out, watching football and we also went to a college basketball game! One special time we all had together happened a few days after Christmas, when my parents and I went down to a theme park called Busch Gardens and visited their ChristmasTown, which was a part of the park that was specifically opened up for this holiday season, and decorated as such.

On Christmas, My dad, mom, uncle and I opened presents in the morning, and then one of my uncles from dad's side and his family all came over for a late lunch early dinner, and then in the afternoon we all went an watched The Hobbit together. Currently my brother and his family are in town celebrating the new year together and it has been such a blessing to have the newly adopted 4 year old nephew in town!!! A bunch of family came over sunday night to watch the Cowboy/Redskin game, which was crazy because my entire family are Cowboy fans except me (since my dad and his brother were born and raised in Texas), and so it was sweet to see the skins take it to them!

4. Reading: So far this break I have been able to complete three books, and would like to try and get to three more! The books I have completed have been Are You Really Listening? Keys to Successful Communication, The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung (highly recommended), and When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy (don't agree with absolutely everything, but the basic principle was fantastic and there was a lot to learn). I'm hoping to complete Holiness by J.C Ryle, (which is one of the best books I have ever read and so I'd like to get through it a second time), John Owen's The Mortification of Sin, and this last one was a change due to a bunch of people recommending it, A serve Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, which based off reading the description on the back I CANNOT wait to get to it.

This break has been wonderful so far and I only hope that the sweetness can continue. God has blessed me with the will power to be productive and make things happen instead of sleeping in till 2 each day and not really make anything of them, which has sadly happened in the past many times before. He also has given me the grace to be in His word almost every day this break, since really starting again on the 17th and that has been really helpful. I cannot stress enough how important it is for His children to be in His word as often as they can, it is where we learn about our heavenly Father, our Lord, His Spirit, our sin and how to live for Him!

Reflections of a Crazy Semester

Well as I sat down to write out a blog for the first time in awhile and take a chance to reflect on my semester I noticed that my most recent blog was a list of goals that I had for the semester. I had forgotten that I even had a list, let alone posted it here on my blog! Which my initial thought after seeing them was that can’t be a good sign in terms of reaching them if I didn’t even remember the fact I had them (first lesson, not only should one make their goals known, but keep them on you at all times for reminder!). Though now that I know they were there at one point, my effort to reflect and filter my thoughts of such a long semester can be simplified as I can look at it in terms of the goals themselves. Here is a shortened version of the goals (see my last post) and my thoughts about how I did on each one:

1. Set aside time EVERY DAY for scripture reading and prayer.

Sadly I was unable to keep this goal. God was extremely gracious and from the start of the semester through the entire month of October, I only missed one day of devotions during that time. God had really set it on my heart to make this a priority in my life and He really shined through and gave me a love for Him and His word. But once the busyness of life hit, devotion time took a back seat; arguably during the time I needed it most. I was nowhere near the consistency I had those first two months. In fact, in my prayer journal from the time of November 1st to the end of the semester, I only count 3 entries. That’s not to say I only spent that time in prayer as there were definitely times where I just didn’t use the prayer journal, but that does show a lack of consistency, 3 entries in the last month in a half compared to the 79 entries or so of the first two and a half months, (from august 12th to October 31st).

2. Be more intentional about everything: relationships, church, schoolwork, and even rest.

This is a tough goal to evaluate, I definitely feel I did better in some areas, but still came up short a lot, though I would say my over all intentionality did increase. Though sometimes certain aspects of life came to a clash. For example, in my effort to maintain relationships and do well in school, I spent very little time sleeping this semester. Sleep is something I hope to get more of this coming semester, as I know it actually important, and being well rested allows me to make the most of the time I have for fellowship with friends and better conquer my schoolwork.

Relationally, this semester was yet another roller coaster. Which I think relationships are always going to be tough, why wouldn’t they be? Relationships are at very the center of our existence, starting with the relationship that existed in the Trinity from eternity past. “It is not good for man to be alone.” We were created to relate to our creator and to relate to those around us. The greatest commandments, Love God and Love people are relational in nature. That being said, we shouldn’t be shocked that because of our sin nature, they are difficult and take a lot of work. Learning how to relate to others and serve them best is one of the most difficult things we can ever attempt to do. One thing God was gracious enough to show me this year is I struggle with listening to people and learning to understand them. I am quick to relate their struggles to mine making myself the topic of conversation, interrupt and offer my 2 cents, and do various other things that makes it so I am no longer counting others as more important as myself. The funny thing about myself is, I love spending time with people, and I am very loyal to the friendships I do have, so this is clearly something I need to work on if I hope to be an encouragement to others and properly point them to Christ.

Academically this was simultaneously my hardest and best semester. Maybe not in terms of GPA, but in the effort and taking school seriously, by God’s grace I definitely made strives of improvement. I can say without a doubt, I worked my freaking butt off. God was once again gracious and gave me eyes to see getting an education as something we do so that we can be better tools for Gods purposes, either in helping out the church, or being a light to this dark world. I also was able to see the importance of working hard and being diligent about school so that I could make more of the relationships He brought into my life. Of course I had my missteps, see: Thanksgiving break, but this was easily an area that fruit flourished.

Church wise, it was not much different than last year. I love my church family here in Santa Clarita, and being able to worship with them on Sundays and bible study during the week (when I can make it) is always a blessing.

3. Memorize more scripture.

Completely whiffed on this one, definitely need to figure out something to memorize for next semester and maybe somebody to do it with.

4. Work out 3-5 times a week/Eat healthier.

Similar to the state of my devotions, the first 2 and a half months of school I was working out extremely consistently, and even found a new love in Ultimate Frisbee, but as the busyness picked up, taking time to take care of my body went down.

5. Have a senior year that I do not regret.

Though this semester was the toughest one I have gone through, both relationally and academically (18 units of 300 and 400 level classes), I would never change it for the world. God stretched me in almost every aspect of my life, and once again showed me the importance of relying on Him. Interestingly, in times where I wasn’t the most consistent about working on my relationship with the Lord and moved into a mindset where I took control, is where life was the hardest by far. But God has used it to show me how much more I do need Him, and how much more of my life needs to be surrendered to Him completely. It’s not that I have to give Him yet another part of my life and work Him into it, it’s that I need to work my life around Him and His purposes, forsaking myself and trusting that He is going to provide and has the best set out for me.

What a semester it was though... I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me during this break and then (Lord willing) MY FINAL SEMESTER OF MY UNDERGRADUATE COLLEGE CAREER!!!

Goals/Resolutions plus some thoughts.

“Tomorrow is the devil's day, but today is God's. Satan does not care how spiritual your intentions are, or how holy your resolutions, if only they are determined to be done tomorrow.” That is the line which stood out to me most as I read J.C Ryle’s Thoughts for Young Men for the second time in my life this past weekend in preparation for the coming semester. It is the quote, that other than Christ and His Word of course, I hope becomes a driving factor for my semester. Procrastination is most definitely the plague of many, and something I have first hand experience in, especially in the realm of education, plus it affects so much more. We procrastinate working out, eating healthy, thinking oh I’ll start next week. As the book talks about, we far too often procrastinate when it comes to our spiritual state. We somehow think that either salvation can be acquired after we have our fun in life (That is, chase after the vain and useless pleasures of sin), or that sanctification and discipline will somehow just happen when we’re older, and we don’t have to put work into it now. We procrastinate investing in others, sitting around waiting for people to invest into us. The sin of procrastination is everywhere, and it is not something I want to be characterized by like I have been in the past.

So as I went through this first week of school, experiencing syllabus shock (on a little side note, I am going to be very busy this year, it’s crazy, 18 units and SLS will do that to you), I thought about things that Lord willing I’d like to accomplish this semester. So here is a list of goals/resolutions I have for this coming year.

1. Set aside time EVERY DAY for scripture reading and prayer. This is where it all begins, this is where I encounter God, this is Gods prescribed medicine to the broken soul, and the word is Gods gift to man as it has everything pertaining to life and Godliness. So if you could pray that I have a desire to read the scriptures, and that God uses that time to further conform me to the Image of Christ. Psalm 1:1-2 “ Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."

2. Be more intentional about everything: relationships, church, schoolwork, and even rest. This life is not our own, and the time we have been given is meant to be spent for God’s glory. And that means ALL OF IT, not just Sundays and Chapel. I don’t quite know how this goal looks yet practically, but intentionality is something I’d like to learn, and so you can definitely be praying for that. Ephesians 5:15-16 “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of time, because the days are evil.”

3. Memorize more scripture. Last year I successfully memorized psalm 139 and that has been very helpful in my spiritual walk. Right now I don’t have anything in mind so if you have some ideas what to tackle send them my way! Psalm 19:7 “ The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.”

4. Work out 3-5 times a week/Eat healthier. This goal is obviously a little less spiritual than the other three, but at the same time it is still within the realm of living a disciplined and God glorifying life.  

5. Have a senior year that I do not regret. This is kind of a culmination of all the goals that I have set before you. I want to pursue the Lord daily (through devotion and the memorization of His word), pursue others, work hard at school, and become a little bit healthier. All that added up would make one successful fall semester if I may say so myself.