One year ago today I was in sunny Southern California,
finishing up what was an incredible experience at The Master’s College. There I
made some of the best of friends, many of which I am still in contact with today,
and there I learned much about My God and His Gospel, about the world around
me, and about myself. Even with the financial burden it has caused on me, and
the regrets I have about my time there, there’s really not much I would change.
And that’s because, like every season of life, college didn’t quite go the way
I had planned, but God’s plan was far better than anything I could have
imagined.
Some of you know that the first month or so right after
graduation I found myself in the lowest of pits (physically, emotionally and
spiritually). Over time God brought me out of that using things like Soaring
Over Seven, Church, friends, and eventually finding employment that I love. But
once I had a job, social life, and church, and was a couple of months into that,
I was once again in a rut (you can check out my old posts if you want to learn more of these events). And in a very really way, I had to relearn the truth that
Christ is the only constant through the cycle of highs and lows that we call
life.
So that brings me to today, just about a year out of school
(the official marker is May 10th), which is crazy to think about.
I’m 6 months into my job at Jill’s House and I’ve begun picking up weekday
hours, which is an exciting development as my goal is to get on full time in
the next 6 months, but currently I still split my time working a second job at
a construction company doing office work and data entry. I still live at home,
and that’s ok. I’ll probably be here a few years as I look to take control of
my student loans, and as much as I would love to move out, it’s the smart thing
to do right now. Also I’m realizing that there’s quite a bit of maturing I need
to do before I’d be ready to live on my own, and while I readily acknowledge
that type of growth is something that could take place by diving in, it’s also something
I can go about here as long as I’m intentional in seeking it. My social life is
pretty spread out, as there are a ton of relationships I have been able to
invest in, which suits me just fine as my favorite thing in the world is to
love on and connect with people (hence why I love my job at Jill’s House so
much), be it my awesome coworkers, church families, high school friends still
in the area, family in general, or other amazing people that God has brought
into my life through various events. Part of me wishes I could bring these 4 or
so worlds closer together, but it is what is right now and maybe over time that
could change. I still read quite a bit, I’m at 8 books so far in 2014, and am
currently reading two more, one on introversion called Quiet (by Susan Cain),
and the other is a book on God’s word and what it says about itself called
Taking God at His Word, written by Kevin DeYoung.
Anyways the point of all of that was to get to what God has
been doing in my heart and mind over the past year, there are two major things. The first is that I’m starting to learn that
even post college, life still happens at an incredible rate. Ya maybe some
things are fewer and farther between (like hanging out with or catching up with
friends), but there have been just as many ‘big’ moments in my life as there
were in college. God is using this time of my life to shape me in the same
exact way as He used college. The events may be different, but the purpose is
the same, to further grow me into the image of Christ. Every single time I sat
down to write a blog in this past year, I always had the same reaction. I would
think to myself, you know, a lot actually has happened (for you see I thought
the opposite was going to be true). Maybe the things that took place were far more intangible
than it was in college, but my heart and mind were certainly shaped. The
sinfulness and weight of sin in my life has become more real to me than it ever
has been, but so has the power of Christ.
The second is this: whenever I find myself down, I’ve learned that most of
the time it’s a conflict between my idea of what my life is supposed to look
like and what God’s plan for my life at the time is. Which I know for a fact
God’s plan is better; I just stated that in my opening paragraph! It’s also a
reflection of my sinfulness, again in a prideful way I let myself wallow in
self-pity instead of allowing the Gospel of Christ to shape my thoughts. As
that is the constant struggle: allowing and praying for these realities to
shape my daily life. For as my Pastor said this past Easter Sunday when he opened
up his sermon, “If Christ is resurrected, then everything is changed.” The
gospel affects every single area and moment of our lives, and through the means
of grace that Christ provides (His word and His church) we have all we need to live that out.
But that’s enough ranting for now, as I just wanted to both
process and let you guys know about all that’s been going on in my life! I know
some of this blog was a little scatter brained, so I’m sorry if it was a little
difficult to get through, but I just wanted to get it down while I had the time.
Anyways, thanks for reading as always, and I hope this can be an encouragement
to you wherever you find yourself in life!
